I seem to have woken up with several pimples that have rather inconsiderately erupted on my face over night, a scritchy scratchy area on both ankles and a stiff neck. Great!!!! Why does this always happen?
How can it be that on every other of the 320 or so days this year so far, I have no such imperfections and then the day of my first party in a very long time, pow, piazz, zing, 1,2,3.......there they are glowing like snow topped mountains.
Perhaps I've been touching my face more then usual, maybe it's city pollution (I've been to the city twice in a week), what about the stress of the week...? And perhaps if I hadn't decided to de-flea the dog this week, her fleas might not have decided to snack on my ankles instead of her.
Arrrrhhhh! I will not scratch them, simply will not!!!!!!!
Please understand this ranting and raving, it's not the 'normal' me. I do not usually get so upset or even notice the odd little pimple lurking on my chin, but almost a year ago, I was invited to my friends 40th birthday and that party is tonight.
It is funny, before Wyld woman came into her own, she would probably have turned down such an invitation, or if she had of gone, she would have made very little effort and hoped to BLEND IN!
It would be easy to do that in this situation too. I'm a woman going on my own, meeting with a lovely bunch of friends that stretch back years but whom I haven't spent much time with in a long while, and I've been through the most traumatic experience I could ever imagine in the past year which (briefly) totally knocked my confidence. But to hide in a corner wouldn't be good exercise of ones wyld side now would it?
So NO, will not attempt to blend in....I shall not be attempting to stand out either!
This of course means I have to make an effort (or at least more of one), effort requires time and energy.
A couple of months back my friend announced the theme, 'A night at the Oscars'......., well at least I think that's what she said. I hope so, could mean a sharp exit if I got that one wrong!
I trawled the local charity stores in pursuit of suitable etire and found a rather cute little number that I could just about sqeeeeze in to. Then my dear cousin came to my rescue and suggested that her lovely lodger (owner of many glamorous frocks) might actually be able to help out.
There at the back of the cupboard in need of repair and a little TLC was the perfect little 'slinky malinky' dress just waiting to be fixed up by yours truly. I stitched up and repaired the broken strap (breaking the other one in the process), and opened up a seam on the leg (naughty ;-))....all ready to be accessorised.
My dear little sis has lent me some rather....ummmmm 'high' shoes. I don't do shoes. Little ole me tends to just have one pair of 'live-ins' plus my faithful wellies, that I literally 'live in' and wear and wear until they are no more. I certainly don't (oh no no) do heels.
I may well be like other girls and have an obsession for shoes had it not been for a couple of rather slippery experiences in my youth. The first was a pair of little black shoes with a 1" kitten heel (note how she knows the term). Well I bought these when I was about twelve with some Christmas money and I loved them. I loved their shape and sleekness but I wore them to school one day and whilst running down a corridor (tut tut) I hit the corner at the wrong angle and whoop whoop whoop, those feet raced beneath me and I ended up in a heap on the floor!
Not long after our puppy chewed one up....probably saving me from doom or more embarrassing episodes.
The next occasion was a 'night club outing' in my early 20's with a group of lively folk. The dance floor was empty with eager on-lookers just waiting for the first idiots to 'break the ice......'
Well I didn't break the ice but almost broke my body and certainly shattered my pride as once again those feet ran ahead of me in a frenzy of cartoon rolling footsteps. I 'not so gracefully' slid across the floor and finished up in a heap once again just short of the centre.
You see, so I've been scared....put off for all these years. In many ways my desire for flat soled shoes has done me a huge favour. I have no bunions or funny shaped feet (with the exception of that hammer toe).
Now 18 months ago I worked hard once again to overcome that fear for the sake of my little sis who requested me to wear 6cm heels as a bridesmaid at her wedding. It took some practise I'll tell you, but I did it and I don't think I walked too much like a penguin.
So for this event, this party tonight, I have borrowed these rather 'Oooh la la' bedroom slippers. I cannot imagine that people actually wear these stilts for any serious length of time! I'll wear them in, then slip them under the table in exchange for some comfy little 'slip-ons'. Well I wouldn't be able to dance in stilts would I?
Another thing that I have learnt to be a modern day problem, is displaying ones navel. That's not literally displaying, but wearing a dress that allows the contours of the dip or bump to be seen. Ummm I hadn't thought of that.
Prima Marche to the rescue. BIG PANTS come in all shapes and sizes and hide everything, totally everything, they're amazing!!! I honestly think big pants could potentially put fad diets and personal trainers out of business. Not sure they are terribly sexy though (not that that's an issue right now)!
So panties sorted, navel concealed...now for the boobies. The dress is rather.....skimpy in some areas. Your average brassiere will not be conspicuous. What to do? Having had three children certain areas no long 'self support' so that essential piece of lingerie is really quite essential to the feminine look. I have done extensive research into this dilemma and it seems I have four options: 1. Go without........definitely not an option!
2. Wear normal bra........although it is acceptable to go out with ones bra on show these days, it rather spoils the aesthetic look that I am trying to achieve! 3. The padded number with invisible straps......OK, so the straps are clear plastic and not as obvious as no 2 but they can be seen......4. The stick on option.......two stick on pads that you fix together in the centre creating to me what looks like a 'mono-boob'....I've gone with this option but cannot try it until this evening as they only stick once! We'll see!!!!
Gosh I'm exhausted after all that and I haven't even got to the essential body care bit yet.........
There's the shaving, the bathing, the nails, the hair, the scent, the outerwear, the bag, the make-up....arrrrrr mama this is not for me.....how do people do this all on a regular basis???? It is beyond me!
Well, you shall have to wait for all that follows as it's 2.30 and I'd better get a more on if I'm to finish those chores before the party begins and get ready....hehehe!! Shall fill you in soon with how I got on, wish me luck!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Note to self.....running late is not cool to such an event as this....and it is not possible to power walk in 6" heels, DO NOT try!