Sunday, 21 July 2013

Parenting boys

When I started out on my parenting journey, I had very little doubt in my mind that if I could choose the sex of my child, I would most certainly have chosen a girl.
You see, I had previously had a great insight into boys as a result of working as a nanny and as a Montessori teacher......
In my many years of experience, I came to recognise two very distinct types of boy. The first is the calm, slow moving, gentle kind and the second is the 'bounce off the wall, in to everything, run on overdrive until bedtime' type. Both types of boy are undoubtedly lovely and as a parent you wouldn't be without them, but what I am referring to is the amount of energy needed by you the parent to cope with their characteristics and ways.
My experience of girls at that time was that, in the main, they are controllable and are easily persuaded to like and be interested in similar things to their mothers (as boys are to their fathers). They (in most circumstances) remain calm and will sit for hours completing tasks if they are interested.
Of course there are always those who differ from my observations, they are very generalised and not intended to offend in any way.
My thoughts at the time were that if I had a boy I was fairly certain that I would find myself with the high energy, latter a girl it was to be and a girl the first child was.

Miss P is to become a teenager this year!

When I was pregnant with my second child, I was certain that this little wriggly bundle of bump undoubtedly had to be a boy......the little lady came along :-)

Such an industrious hard worker she is too......

How very cosy, two beautiful little girls, so easy, so calm (most of the time) child number three I actually wanted a boy....well it would make a change wouldn't it? Having girls around was by that point pretty easy stuff.

POP! After a whole 50 minute labour, 'welcome earthside' came our little package of trouble all wrapped up in his embryotic sac. The hospital staff informed me that was lucky and that he'd probably be a sailor or a seaman.....ummm!!

Small Boy started out as the easiest child. Perfect at breastfeeding (always hungry) and brilliant at sleeping (happy to be put to bed awake - unheard of I know).....I was rapidly drawn into that amazing sense of euphoric love that you have a for a child, but I was never prepared for the challenges that I have faced so far on my parenting journey.

Up until Small Boy was eighteen months old, he was a dream, everything just sailed along very nicely thank you, but literally the moment he turned eighteen months old......POW!!!!! The trouble began!

It started the day I noticed that a pot of houmous had been spread quite literally over ever item in the fridge. I loVE houmous but it really  sticks like 'sh.. to a blanket', no easy task to clean that off!

Secondly, it was the mystery of the apple that had been eaten in the main but the core had been replaced in the fruit bowl......STRANGE!!

Things got worse.......twenty plus eggs thrown at a wall with a friend in the drive of which the dogs were very pleased to lap up....the black mess that followed on the beige carpets was not a pleasant cleaning experience!!

The siege of our friends car when he left it on the drive, which ended up being plastered on the inside and the windows with thick emollient cream......

The truck!!!! I'm not sharing that one....!!!!!!

The stones in the lawn mower tank, the potential water in the petrol tank of the car, the mystery of the beer being taken from the fridge......Okay I'll share that one although I'll probably have all my rights to parent removed.
The fridge in our porch was left open and a can of beer had been removed. I followed the mystery trail that took me to a barn by our house where we were restoring a car at the time. Small boy was standing at the far end holding the can with a rolled up piece of paper in his hand. 'What are you doing'? I questioned, to which he replied 'I'm having a can of beer and a cigarette'....Mortified mother!! I was quite upset by that one but did chuckle when he wasn't looking. He was only just two and had managed to properly open the can!

I was reminded of these stories this evening when Small Boy ran inside telling me that he'd just put a snake on the fire. We were burning some garden rubbish and I had left him to clear up the last bit. He's good with fire he was taught to respect it from a very young age. Anyway, I sort of half hearted listened (as you do) and didn't really give the idea a serious thought until he insisted on showing me. True to his tale he had in fact managed to burn a slow worm alive. He'd picked up a pile of dried grass and thrown it into the flames, only to find that the 30cm slow worm was inside. Poor thing was 'no more' obviously :-( He was a little upset but proceeded to dissect it anyway, shame to waste the opportunity!

There are many more stories to tell, he's provided great entertainment!

But on a serious side, having a boy has really enriched our lives (the girls might disagree with me there), he is an extremely sweet natured chap, definitely very masculine but also understands the feminine species. Plus he takes me out of my comfort zone. I can expect the unexpected! I do have to climb trees with him and lay on river banks watching the fish, I do have to sleep under the stars and sit at gates during the night time hours waiting for foxes to come out. I do have to show an interest in dead animals and slimy frogs but I also have wonderful cuddles and hugs and a very sweet young friend :-)

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Thank you X

I have been writing this blog for about two years now and during that time have kept meaning to say 'Thank you' to those of you who take the time to read my posts and make comments :-)

I was thrilled when the total number of hits reached 1000 and had meant to voice my excitement back then...oh how time flies...I have now hit over 8000 incredible is that?!! Incredible and such a boost to little old me who really has no idea at all how to write and who just waffles on randomly about whatever significant thing come into my mind.....what a delight to have such a following....yeeha, woohoo...skipity skip!! Oh dear, has it really come to this? No wonder my dear children think I am totally bonkers!!

Anyway, I want to share my latest little gadget with you...have you noticed the little fish on the right hand side of the screen? Cute aren't they! Well Miss P informed me how to add entertainment in the form of little fish to my blog, it's nice having little pets to keep you company whilst you are madly writing away. You can feed my little fish by clicking your mouse within their tank and watch what happens....oh the simple pleasures of life! I am now wondering if it is possible to overfeed them??

The other recent additive is that you can now read my blog in different languages, yes, there's a link at the top of the screen on the right. Well you might feel inspired to read whilst holidaying in Spain......!!

Now, I am thinking that the time might have come to add a little more to this blog but my brain is totally not of the technological kind and I genuinely have absolutely no idea what-so-ever how to make the changes I have in mind. This is where you my friends come (hopefully) to my rescue.
Firstly I really would like to know how to upload photos quickly from my camera? At present it takes ages, such a bore and I would love to be able to offer visual stimuli to my posts...
Secondly, I really would like to know how I can highlight a word within my blog which will enable you, the reader, to click on it and be taken to some far off place (namely another website, for when I want to make reference to something or enable you to look further into something I've been rattling on about).
So dear friends please don't be shy and come on out of your keyboards to voice your ideas.....
Thank you soooo much....(here's hoping of course that you do help....hehe!!) X

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Live a little......

I am completely struck by the love of doesn't take much does it? A few days (well a week now) of glorious sunshine and I feel like this year we haven't been short changed of the season. Do you remember the ghastly Summer we had last year (yes I know best forgotten that one!).

It was sooo hot yesterday, I found it difficult to decide what to do. Having children around certainly keeps one busy...sometimes doing things that we really would rather not do. The kids decided that they would like to camp out last night so muggins here had the arduous task of erecting the tent in the blazing sunshine. Funny how the kids disappear when there is work to be done, even if it is for their benefit! Ummmm!!!
Well, it wasn't only my off-spring that planned to camp, the intention of the entire Timberyard (that's where I live) were fixated on doing the same.
There are ten small people within our small community, all of similar ages. Each and every one of them makes themselves at home in all of the houses (I have to confess to doing the same myself), it's really rather lovely.
So tents mid-morning the squabbling had begun; that's someone spraying water at someone else or a child's flip-flops being placed out of reach in the tree or some banter about something....! When you have so many children living in one area it happens. So the threats started pouring 'If you don't stop this and get along, then you'll not be camping out tonight'!....'Just get along'!! Anyway, by late afternoon myself and my friend had been talked into sleeping under the stars with the children....not quite sure exactly how that happened, I do know that these things happen frequently though! It's almost as if the children have some sort of powers that put you into a trance and convince you to agree to something and then when they snap their fingers and you wake up in a dreamy state, you haven't a clue how such matters came about...really very bazaar!!
So after an evening of entertainment (from the children) and some adult socialising with my lovely neighbours, we threw together our make shift concentration camp (well that's what it looked like).
The children danced and frolicked in their pyjamas for hours before settling down.
What started off as seven children camping out ended up being two (plus us adults) and then an extra one joined after an hour of so......I'd like to say I had a peaceful nights sleep but although the calls of nature are harmonious in many ways, the call of 'Mummy I'm cold' and 'I've wet the bed....' were somewhat destructive to a peaceful slumber!!!
So here we are the day after and funnily enough the child are out of sight again...there is work to be done of course, clearing up all of our belongs and trying (oh trying) to squeeze those tents back into their bags (why do they make them so small?).

My point to our adventure is, that you have to live a little, go with the flow of children (and myself) will have fond memories of our sleepless night under the stars....not sure they would be so quick to recall a strict seven O'clock bedtime!!

Ed note: Would love to add photos but seem to have encountered a techy problem!

Monday, 8 July 2013

To Love A Man........

To Love A Man

If you want to change the world love a man; really love him
Choose the one whose soul calls to yours clearly who sees you; who is brave enough to be afraid
Accept his hand and guide him gently to your hearts blood
Where he can feel your warmth upon him and rest there
And burn his heavy load in your fires
Look into his eyes look deep within and see what lies dormant or awake or shy or expectant there
Look into his eyes and see there his fathers and grandfathers and all the wars and madness their spirits fought in some distant land, some distant time
Look upon their pains and struggles and torments and guilt; without judgment
And let it all go
Feel into his ancestral burden
And know that what he seeks is safe refuge in you
Let him melt in your steady gaze
And know that you need not mirror that rage
Because you have a womb, a sweet, deep gateway to wash and renew old wounds
If you want to change the world love a man, really love him
Sit before him, in the full majesty of your woman in the breath of your vulnerability
In the play of your child innocence in the depths of your death
Flowering invitation, softly yielding, allowing his power as a man
To step forward towards you…and swim in the Earth’s womb, in silent knowing, together
And when he retreats…because he will…flees in fear to his cave…
Gather your grandmothers around you…envelope in their wisdoms
Hear their gentle shusshhhed whispers, calm your frightened girls’ heart
Urging you to be still…and wait patiently for his return
Sit and sing by his door, a song of remembrance, that he may be soothed, once more
If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him
Do not coax out his little boy
With guiles and wiles and seduction and trickery
Only to lure him…to a web of destruction
To a place of chaos and hatred
More terrible than any war fought by his brothers
This is not feminine this is revenge
This is the poison of the twisted lines
Of the abuse of the ages, the rape of our world
And this gives no power to woman it reduces her as she cuts off his balls
And it kills us all
And whether his mother held him or could not
Show him the true mother now
Hold him and guide him in your grace and your depth
Smoldering in the center of the Earth’s core
Do not punish him for his wounds that you think don’t meet your needs or criteria
Cry for him sweet rivers
Bleed it all back home
If you want to change the world love a man, really love him
Love him enough to be naked and free
Love him enough to open your body and soul to the cycle of birth and of death
And thank him for the opportunity
As you dance together through the raging winds and silent woods
Be brave enough to be fragile and let him drink in the soft, heady petals of your being
Let him know he can hold you stand up and protect you
Fall back into his arms and trust him to catch you
Even if you’ve been dropped a thousand times before
Teach him how to surrender by surrendering yourself
And merge into the sweet nothing, of this worlds’ heart
If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him
Encourage him, feed him, allow him, hear him, hold him, heal him
And you, in turn, will be nourished and supported and protected
By strong arms and clear thoughts and focused arrows
Because he can, if you let him, be all that you dream
If you want to love a man, love yourself, love your father
Love your brother, your son, your ex-partner; from the first boy you kissed,
To the last one you wept over
Give thanks for the gifts; of your unraveling to this meeting
Of the one who stands before you now
And find in him the seed to all that’s new and solar
A seed that you can feed to help direct the planting
To grow a new world, together