Gratitude......

Gratitude
           helps you to grow and expand;
           gratitude brings joy
           and laughter into your lives
           and into the lives of all those around you.

                                                     Eileen Caddy
                                                          The Dawn of Change


Central to an Earth culture and the fair shares ethic is the idea of abundance. The industrial growth culture has the opposing belief of scarcity. Scarcity verses abundance is fear versus trust. A scarcity mindset has an underlying fear that there isn't enough. An abundance attitude trusts that our needs will be provided for. When we give we don't need to be concerned about consequences of our actions or be looking for gratitude or pay back. With a scarcity state of mind we hold tight to our time, energy and resources and they can stagnate and pollute.

It is within our power and abilities to create surpluses and abundance in our lives. Abundance is more than just material items; we can create abundances of self esteem, confidence, practical skills, friends, local community, purpose, knowledge and time. This starts with observing what we have, seeing the surpluses and redefining what we have in terms of what we need. Appreciation and abundance go hand in hand. It is about making the choice to see the abundances: are we seeing the strawberries that we have in plenty or do we want to import bananas? Of course strawberries and bananas aren't the same, but abundance is about valuing what we have rather than focusing on what we haven't got.

This continues with active creation of surpluses; what can we make, what skills do we have to offer, what plants can we propagate, what can we harvest, what time do we have spare?

 Looby Macnamara

Both of the above quotes have struck my attention recently. It is easy to go through life wishing you had more and closing ourselves to actually seeing that in fact our lives are filled with amazing things. So Friday evening the children and I took Jenny dog for a stroll at dusk and as they rode ahead on their bikes I gave some thought to all the amazing aspects of my life that I am eternally grateful for....let me share some of my thoughts.

I am truly grateful......


* that my home and life is always filled with children. I am blessed to have three beautiful children of my own and they all have friends. Surrounding yourself with children gives you a different outlook on life (and it keeps you young!).
Children are our future.......

* that I am able to buy wholesome food and that I am lucky to feel inspired to experiment in the preparation of it.

* that I am able to live in a pretty little cottage that is full of character and that the countryside is my playground :-)

* that I have time to stop and observe the changing seasons and admire the beauty of natures gifts.

* that I live in an area where the air is clean and fresh.

* that I am able to make friends and not enemies, whom I feel safe and alive with.

* that I have the ability to see the positive even in the worst situations.

* that I consider myself 'rich' although have little money and that I am able to earn 'just' enough money to make all things possible :-)

* that I have an amazing family who love and care unconditionally.

Sunday roast in the garden today :-)

* that I can laugh even when things go wrong.

* that I have a creative mind and can see the potential in all things.

* that I am independent, capable and willing to do things for myself.

 

* that I am fortunate enough to be free from the constraints of addiction and that my body and mind are in good health.

* that  have the power to think beyond the box and deviate from the 'norm' in so many areas of my life.

* that I have hope, ambitions and dreams and am driven to make them a reality.

* that I am able to plan things but equally can be very spontaneous.

* that I can see beyond myself and offer compassion towards others.

* that I have an amazingly interesting and varied life.

* that I have discovered my ability to write and have friends willing to read my jottings and post comments which inspire further.......

My mother's day girft from Small Boy

Thanks you :-) XX

One little seed.....

A little seed was planted recently and very quickly it took hold and started to germinate - I love it when a plan comes together!

'So tell me about this seed' I hear you say. Well, my children go to a group in Charlbury called RAD, it's a group set up by another home educating mum in a church.
The children just go along for an hour and a half once a week and during that time they do some amazing things and have formed some great friendships. The most recent thing they have been enthused about is the charity Water Aid.

In this country we are fortunate enough to have clean water on tap and at all times. A friend of mine  told me of an experience that he had recently where he was given the opportunity to drink a glass of water that had been taken directly from a septic tank. Of course it had be filtered thoroughly before he consumed it and the water was clear and clean - he also lived to tell the tale thankfully!
In many countries of the world the scenario would be the same except the water wouldn't be filtered and it certainly wouldn't be clean and clear. I cannot even begin to imagine what that would be like.
People in these areas have little choice. Making the decision to drink contaminated water as a basic fundamental need knowing that you risk your life by doing so doesn't even register in my mind. Many children die every day as a result.

Water Aid is a charity set up to raise awareness and provide help in countries that don't have regular access to clean water.

Since hearing of this charity through RAD club, my children have been inspired to raise money to help and to make a difference to the lives of others.
Initially I said they could have all the copper coins they could find in the house (they found over £6 worth!!), then they began suggesting ways they could earn money. Miss P took to washing the car and Small Boy washed and re-washed the dishes. Then I got involved and just thought I'd take a look at the Water Aid website HERE......this is actually a very worth while cause. Before I knew it I am also involved and wanting to help. It suddenly dawned on me that we could run a coffee morning. Location options began whizzing around in my head and of course the logistics of such an event.
I mentioned my idea to said friend who lives in Charlbury and there my seed was planted and began to germinate with rapid speed.

The idea spread quickly, posters were created, plans were made and the enthusiasm multiplied.

Well what an exciting morning we had!!!
The enthusiasm bubbled from the beginning. Many very excited children turned up to give a hand.
We made a quick transformation of my friends school room into our 'pop up cafe', home made cakes arrived and voila! All ready to begin.

We debated what to charge. From experience it seems that if you set a baseline amount people tend to donate that and then add more, especially if the funds are heading for charity. People can be incredibly generous given the opportunity.

**For the record, my contributions of cakes went rather fashionably, disastrously, dreadfully, WRONG!!! After the first casualty stuck fast to the baking trays and ended up as a large pile of enormous cake crumbs, I tried two further cakes attempting against my will to remain faithful to the recipe but the same thing happened again and again. I did sort of manage to reconstruct one darling orange sponge cake and disguise the errors of my ways with a think splodge of tasty icing. Rather a poor show for someone who bakes all the time. perhaps on this occasion my efforts were to be focused elsewhere!!
All was not wasted as we've enjoyed two portions each of tasty coffee and walnut sponge with custard for desert for the past two days and it's looking like there's enough for tomorrow too :-)

Keep calm indeed!

At 10 am we had no customers. For a very brief moment I did wonder if our efforts had been wasted, then slowly folk began to drift in. We sent some boys off down to stand outside the local Coop to encourage people to call by. They came back with £7....didn't dare ask what they said to people! At one point we had all twelve seats in our 'pop up cafe' filled with further people standing AND three cars on the drive requiring washing. Car washing was another way we thought we could make a bob or two and it was pretty popular decision to make and raked in a great deal of extra booty.
Collectively we raised about £170, not bad for two hours work!

Many children got very wet in the process. Glad we didn't have folk seated outside!

The power of people hey, all it takes is one little seed :-)

In celebration of a wonderful life

 

My cousin and I read our final words to my grandfather on Friday

Thank you all for coming today and for joining us in celebrating the life of Grumps, Dad, Pud, Johnny, Grandad, John, Faz, 1470623 Gunner Fazackerley.

We called him Grumps, more on that later.

Grumps was born in Kendal, Cumbria in 1927, where he lived a posh childhood in a semi-detached house with an indoor loo, a bath and running water.

Grumps was the eldest son of John and Mary, he had a brother - Sam and three sisters, Margaret, Doreen and Pat.

Grumps was an ‘outdoor’ kind of chap. As a child he spent much of his time tickling trout in streams. That as we learnt was a method for catching them. You lay down on the bank, gently put your hand into the water. When a fish came along you tickled its belly sending into a false relaxed state, at which point you flip the fish out of the water. He told us about his adventures frequently but we never saw him catch one in this way.

Grumps also enjoyed playing in the fells and cycling to near by Morecombe.

Grumps was always a fighter and longed to be in the army. He tried to join when he was 14, but got turned down. He ran away from home at 16 and tried again, but again was turned down. He did however get offered a job in Manchester working in an ammunition factory.

Grumps didn’t give up on his dream of being in the army, at 17 and a half he tried again and this time was successful.

Grumps was sent to the holy land: he was always proud to tell us that he had been to Bethlehem and the sea of Galilee. After two years of service he was sent to Middleton Stony to train as a paratrooper with the SAS.

It was during this time on a Saturday night, whilst out dancing with two friends, that he met Grandma (the love of his life). He was so smitten by her that he walked from London to Middleton Stony in one night to keep a date with her. He obviously knew a good woman when he saw one.

Within a year of meeting the woman of his dreams, Grandma and Grumps were married. The biggest surprise was to follow!

Whilst serving in Germany, Grumps received a telegram from Oxford to say that his beloved wife had given birth to their first child……and their second…….and their third. Could he come home?

Of course his C.O thought he was fibbing and dismissed his claim. Grumps had to call Bicester police to confirm the claim and report the true outcome to his C.O.

He was told to catch the next truck home….the C.O said he didn’t know whether to ‘shoot him or promote him’ - he was permitted 3 weeks leave.

Grumps was awarded a medal for his time in Palestine. He was a brave and heroic man. One night, whilst watching his post an intruder made an attempt to gain access to the camp. Grumps challenged the intruder three times, then nervously he did what he was trained to do and opened fire….the poor casualty was a donkey!

Two years after fathering triplets, Grumps fired again. This time a single cartridge in the form of a beautiful daughter. Luckily, this time he was stationed in Kidlington so was closer to hand.

Grumps served 8 years in total in the army and 5 years as a reserve.

After his army days were over he worked at Pressed Steel in Cowley for 30+ years, he also worked as a retained fire fighter at Pressed Steel and in Kidlington fire station. He worked at Kidlington for 22 years and gained a medal for long and committed service.

Grumps was never one to sit around doing nothing. Of course he rested on occasions, his little saying was ‘This won’t buy the baby a new hat!’

Grumps loved fixing things but not in the usual sense. To most people, fixing something means you glue the broken object, inconspicuously hiding the defect the best you can. This was not the case with Grumps. Grumps seemed to have an endless supply of grey tape. To those of you who don’t know of his love affair with grey tape, we’re talking about highly adhesive grey duck tape. It did the job but far from hid the defects on the item. All over Grandma and Grumpy’s home there is evidence of all the fixing Grumps has been doing.: The vacuum cleaner, the remote control, wires, handles….even a cushion!

His computer fixing abilities were not such a story of success. We quickly learnt not to give Grumps access to our computers, even covering them in an attempt to hide them! Frequently we heard stories of his wiping the system clean. Grandma even had to buy her own computer for fear of losing her data!

Our early memories of Grumps are of fun and frolicking. He always loved children.

To my brother and I, Grumps was like a father as our own father was tragically killed when we were very young. We spent much of our childhood in the care of Grumps and Grandma.

Grandma and Grumps frequently took us all way on holiday to give our exhausted parents a break. We loved our simple breaks to Butlin’s, camping and even to Spain.

Grumps spent a lot of time when we were young in his shed wearing his brown and white bobble hat. We longed access to that very well organised shed with neatly aligned stationary and fishing tackle that a small child could only dream of using - but whilst not in it, he kept the door securely locked!

Grumps shared his passion of gardening, car engines, nature, taking things apart, fishing and his sweets….

He loved his sweets, he also loved his jam and bread. Grumpy’s favourite meal was simply jam and bread.

There was one thing that Grumps did that we all hated. The dreaded ‘dry shave’. He had a passion for catching us and rubbing his stubbly chin on our soft delicate skin -

Grumps, it really hurt!

Now I probably ought to explain to you all why we called him Grumpy. In his 50’s, Grumps did become really grumpy and snappy with us. We’d hide and peek out and shout ‘Grumpy Grandad’. He’d become very cross at that. We were actually a little frightened of him at that time.

Then Grumps had a major heart attack. Nature wanted rid of him, but as the true fighter he was he wasn’t going that easily. He endured a quadruple bi-pass operation and followed doctors orders and went on to make a full recovery. He also wasn’t grumpy anymore but by then the name had stuck!

Three years later nature tried to do away with him again, this time in the form of an aneurysm behind his eye. Once again Grumps stood his ground and fought on. With the help of medical intervention he lived to tell the tale.

In 1994 upon retiring, Grumps persuaded Grandma to move South to Pagham where they spent 20 happy years. They had many exciting adventures travelling the South coast on their free bus passes.

Last year Grandma and Grumps celebrated 65 years of marriage. What a major achievement.

Grumps was diagnosed with cancer in February 2011 and was given just 6 months to live. He still wasn’t ready to leave and fought beyond the doctors belief for two further years.

Even at Christmas when he was really poorly, Grumps still helped the kids cheat in our Christmas games!

So Grumps, as you make your way to Heaven’s pearly gates, we envisage you sitting on a cloud taped up with grey tape, being fed sweets and jam on bread by the angel children - don’t be cheeky and try to dry shave them as your stubble will no longer be course. When you get there the gates will open wide to let you in, your service to the mortal world has been honourable but now your time is done. Time to find your old friends and run around catching rabbits - play well!

Do not cry and be sad at the loss of a great man. Smile, celebrate and be glad that knowing him has enriched your lives. Memories last a life time.

 

Back on track.......:-)

It doesn't take much....there, little blip over and chugging along nicely again :-)

Sometimes I think you just have to step back from life, look at yourself and where you're going, then step back in and carry on. It's good practise and helps things run more smoothly.

I'm so excited today, I've mastered a new skill. For me the simplest things make such a difference. I've been wanting to fit a cat flap since our little kitty arrived back at the beginning of November but because of the damp and cold conditions I didn't get any further then looking at the door, ordering my desired flap and thinking about how I was going to fit it. Instructions were provided thankfully, but unless you know the lingo such things can still remain a daunting prospect. Luckily I come from a family where mechanical, gadgety, DIY lingo was flying around all the time and although I often appeared to show no interest in the slightest...I guess some of it went in and stayed there.
Up until two years ago I had many jolly little project ideas which I would plan and my darling husband would make things happen with my gentle encouragement. We worked really well as a team there. When he departed earth side, I made the decision that I could either sink and let everyone run around and do jobs for me, or swim and be empowered to get on with things and do them myself. I'm not the kind of person who likes to rely on others so a rapid steep learning curve it was to be and 'girl power' was created!
Fitting the cat flap requires a hole to be drilled into the door and the plastic framed 'flappy bit' to be positioned within and screwed in place. Not too difficult I thought accept a jig saw is needed to make the hole and up until an hour ago I hadn't ever used one before. The other minor detail was that I live in a rental house and of course potentially cutting a hole into a door using a jig saw for the first time could carry the risk of totally ruining the door. Which would mean fessing up to my landlord that I'd wrecked the door completing a project I hadn't got permission for or having to keep quiet and buy a new door and fit that.....gosh this is getting complicated. Best not to think about the things that could potentially go wrong and boulder on in and do the job right...first time.

Tracking down the tools took a while. Many came up with offers of the goods but not someone close until today when two people came up trumps at the same time. Obviously today was the day I was supposed to get stuck into the job.

My lovely neighbour heard of my plans and was willing to help but it's very difficult for someone like me who is firstly a perfectionist and secondly, vastly independent. I HAVE to do it by myself.
So tools at the ready, measurements done, template drawn on the door.

Holes drilled.

Jig saw plugged in and instruction given (but job done by self......intricate neatening also done by self
:-))

Hole successfully cut......(DOOR NOT RUINED!!!!!!! :-) :-) :-))

Plastic flap housing all screwed into place.

Happy pussy, happy me :-)

* Oooh and now know how to use a jig saw......so excited about that, project ideas already flowing in dream bubble.......

Life on hold

I have to admit to feeling a bit down recently. I rarely admit to that, it's usually me that's the one who jollies life along and makes a point of cheering up anyone displaying anything less than a smile. Don't get me wrong, I've still been bumbling away and doing that but deep within me I've not felt on my usual cloud nine. I've been trying to give some thought to what it is that's causing my moment of not-quite-feeling-right and I think I've worked it out.

It came to me last week whilst I was browsing through old photos.

What became very obvious to me was all the amazing times I have had, the absolutely fabulous life I have created for myself. The best times were mainly spent as a family unit. Some how it suddenly seemed that life just isn't the same any more.
I'm still the same old fun loving, enthusiastic me, I still have similar dreams, but what I lack is someone who is behind me and helping me achieve those dreams. But it's not just that, I also feel a tad wasted that I don't have anyone to nurture in return.

It's a funny one. Many years ago, I recall going to the cinema to watch 'Bridget Jones'. I actually cried back then (really I did) because I thought that a single life seemed so cool and was slightly envious of Bridget's ability to do as she pleased. I was at that time in a relationship and although things were great I guess the grass on the side of 'married life' somehow seemed greener.

I'm two and a quarter years into 'single living' now, of course in many ways it's great. I can do very much as I please. I can make allll the decisions, I can stay up late, stay out late, chat to who I want at parties, stay at parties until I choose to go, eat what I want, have the whole bed to myself. I don't have to wash anyone else's laundry and don't have to clean anyone else's hair out of the bath! I also have access to the shed and have filled it with my things!!!

A true compatible relationship won't make you feel that such tasks are ardeous chores, a true soul mate will be set free by their partner to expand themselves and reach their full potential.
I think that's what I'm missing........

With all this freedom you would think I should be happy and skipping about in life.....frequently I do, but what I concluded at the start of the weekend is that 'life has been on hold'. I guess what I mean by that is that I just haven't had the same motivation to live the life I want to live. Now this is possibly going to sound ridiculous as it would appear that I do lots of interesting things on a regular basis and it is true, I do. But there are lots of things that just get put off because no one is behind me saying 'great idea....let's do it'. Years ago my dream was to be self sufficient, I've been pretty close in many ways. I've grown vegetables, I've kept chickens, I've lived with a sustainable heat source, lots of things...now I seem further away from that life then ever before. The whole concept of sustainable living as a singleton seems way beyond my grasp. It's frustrating to say the least.

So what to do? Apart from to dream and continue to say 'one day'...hmmm...... I guess continue to surround myself  with lovely inspiring people and allow myself to grow in other areas. Perhaps now is the time to get out there and develop new skills??

As for Bridget Jones, I'm almost through the latest instalment of her life's saga....poor Bridget is also widowed....Bridget and I are now living parallel lives.....anyone who knows me well who reads the latest book will know what I mean....laughable!!!

Note to self......memories last a life time, 'time to leave the past behind'......X
And note to all.....being single is over rated!!

Posh bread without the fuss!

For years now I've been trying to master the perfect loaf of bread. A loaf that rises beautifully with little effort and continues to do so during the process of cooking. Occasionally I've been lucky and made something which I consider resembles bread and is deliciously edible, mostly though, if I'm being honest, I create 'house bricks'. I genuinely believe that I could have built a house of sorts out of all those reject hard offerings.
Why don't you just buy a bread maker? I hear you say. Well I do have one, and it does make a good loaf, or would if I didn't insist on always being creative and jeopardising things there too!! Bread makers are good and I do use mine occasionally but there is something to be said about nurturing your loaf yourself. It takes time and attention like all good things.
Anyway, recently I have discovered a loaf that really does seem to work every time, even with a bit of creative input ;-) and it produces rather a posh looking, tasty loaf without very much effort at all.
So I thought I'd share my new found success story with you:-

Makes one delicious artisan loaf

Ingredients:

3 cups of flour (I use strong white bread flour but have experimented with 50/50 brown and white and it still seems to work)

1 1/2 cups tepid water

1/2 tsp yeast

Pinch of salt

That's it!

Pop it all into a large mixing bowl, give it a rough stir (not too much attention needed) and cover and leave for 12-18 hours. Cling film works best as it keeps the moisture and heat in the bowl. I've started to prep this after dinner, then leave it over night and cook it in the morning ready for lunch.
The mixture looks dry initially and one questions whether there is enough water added but after the 12+ hours you are not greeted with a dry mixture (oh no) but a frothy moist bowl of bubbilness. The next step is easy. Preheat your over to about 150 degrees C, sprinkle a little flour on top of the mixture and literally scoop it out of the bowl and roughly shape it as you do so. I really don't do much here. Cover your loaf with foil (roughly, it's just to stop the top burning) and pop into the oven for 15 minutes. After this time turn the oven up to 180 degrees C and cook for a further 10-15 minutes until the top looks lightly browned and it smells delicious. The smell is a good indication of readiness :-)
Enjoy!!

Variations:- You could add some seeds to your initial mixture or roll your uncooked loaf in poppy seeds etc I was also thinking it might be good with garlic and rosemary or sun dried tomatoes....mmmmm food for thought. Do let me know how you get on XXXXXX

A feast in the wild

Our ancestors have been feasting on wild foods for the whole history of time, it has just been the past hundred years or so through the invention of the supermarket or convenience stores that many of us are now out of touch with nature and fending for ourselves. Most of us (if we are honest), have no idea of the origin of the everyday things that we consume to nourish our deepest being. No longer are we able to identify the things that will feed us nor those that will poison.
I've been foraging for about ten years now. It started with familiar blackberries and rose hips from the hedgerow but has developed into knowledge of many of our native plants throughout the year. If you know what you're looking for there is a whole feast to be had and all for free!

It's exciting to discover a new edible plant and new ways in which to use it, and it becomes quite an interesting topic of conversation when something thought of as a 'weed' is served up to friends.

I've come quite a long way since my stinging nettle fritters that (let's say)....left an interesting 'tickling' sensation in the throat as they slipped down....hehe!!

So today a lovely friend of mine organised a walk with a sweet and knowledgeable chap who runs a stall on the Stroud Farmers market. He sells his foraged finds and offers advice on discovering nature's bounty of delights.
So I enthusiastically joined the clan with my four (my niece included) less enthusiastic children for a walk around Stroud and three hours of priceless knowledge.
Of course I had the usual moans and groans at the prospect of three hours of doing 'weird' stuff. They love it really my children. They do complain at the thought but when you actually get them out into nature's playground they thoroughly enjoy the elements and all that the divine power has provided for them. It was more exciting following a different and unfamiliar route on unknown territory. Lots of new things to see and discover.

 

The key to enjoyment is to 'be prepared'.  I do remember one thing from my Girl Guiding days!! So warm coats, old clothes and wellies are just the ticket, along with drinks and snacks for famished growing bodies of course.
I had the usual 'I'm not eating that, a dog might have weed on it...or a hedgehog....or an ant!!' 'Lead by example' I say and just don't think about it. Having said that, obviously don't eat things growing around a lamp post or on serious dog fouling ground. You just have to use your head really.
There are so many things to learn, so much to digest (quite literally) that it really can be quite confusing. My advice is to learn a few new plants a year to add to your repertoire...that way the confusion lessens and just as you're becoming familiar and very sure of one set of plants it's time to familiarise yourself with another lot.

Today I learnt that you can eat daises. I knew you could eat dandelions (flowers and leaves) but never gave daisies a thought. Mmmmmm they are delicious and well worth a nibble......might be nice in a salad, or perhaps a egg mayo and daisy sanbo??
Another plant that I've known about for years is 'cleavers' or 'sticky willy' as my children and others call it. It's out already and at the moment is at its most succulent and not as tough as it becomes later in the year.

I'm quite familiar with Summer pickings now but really don't get out much in the Winter months, especially when the weather is as dull as it has been recently and stopping to pick leaves is certainly not the first thought on my mind when it's bitterly cold. But it's good to know that there is stuff out there even in Winter.

Fen found a dead newt

There are many books out there on foraging, it's worth investing in one before you give it a go so that you've got a point of reference, or alternatively join a guided walk. Most plants are perfectly safe but there are a few that can make you very sick. I invested in a copy of Richard Mabey's 'Food for Free' many years back, it's a good little book with lots of interesting info and makes a good starting place.

Playing in the gap where a tree had been wrenched from the ground during recent storms

Miss P commented on the way home 'You know what Mum, I was the only 'normal' person there'......Oh well, you can't win them all!!!

Cupid's spell...... (slight sensoring suggested!)

Am awoken abruptly from peaceful slumber at 7.35am and forced to leave warm cosy retreat otherwise know as 'bed' to answer loud knock at the door. Gorgeous man stands on my doorstep holding enormous bouquet of 50 red roses elegantly displayed in water wrapped cellophane.
'Happy Valentine's Day' he cheerily chants to a somewhat surprised and bedraggled me who having just got up stands there in my faded pyjamas, breasts hanging freely under bra less top, hair unbrushed, sleepy dust stuck in eyelashes and one sock hanging half off toes!

Whilst opening the accompanying card a second knock echos from the door and a beautiful bunch of perfectly formed tightly closed tulips are left on the doorstep......15 bouquets later the table is rather full and am wondering how we shall manage to sit and dine today, without plonking selves on picnic rug on the floor?

10.45 am and postman is this time making a special delivery from  extra van appointed specifically to carry mass supply of cards in red envelopes. Spend rest of the morning and most of the afternoon wondering who all these secret admirers are??????? 

2.34 pm take a quick ride to nearest town to pick up provisions for tonight, best be prepared for the unexpected....(well you never know!). Unusually seem to be attracting rather a lot of attention from males. Find self feeling rather embarrassed initially but then hold head high as I stride around supermarket. Leave store and stop to view latest rentals in Estate agents window, turn side ways to admire booty in window reflection only to reveal large ladder and hole in tights with pink frilly panties on full view! Hmm That might explain things.....!!

8.15 pm Children finally in bed so set about preparing delightful Valentine meal for one as no one would babysit for me to go out and pretend I was having a jolly good time being single for third year running. Am stopped in tracks by muffled knock at door which dog (with over sensitive hearing and very loud bark) amazingly hasn't heard, thus children remain in state of sleepy unconsciousness. Rather rugged looking handsome man stands on door step with no gift (it's not about that). He flatters me with beautiful comments, teasing me with little kisses around my neck then nibbles my ear sending shivers though out my whole being, then he envelopes me in his arms before pulling me close to him thrusting his groin against me, his excitement is clearly defined....Wyld man smells divine and his tantalising presence melts me to a pulp right there on the door mat!
'TAKE ME TO PASTURES NEW.......please'......... Arrrr!!!!!

Am awoken by alarm clock at 7.30am.........
bugger hey!!!

Valentine's day again....one day of the year when I am reminded of the fact that I am single, widowed and without significant other. This day has in history never bothered me (whilst I was with someone), I'm a true romantic in many ways but do not need to wait for February 14th to prove it. However, this year although having had several invitations to go to events and have a jolly good time, I cannot help feeling a bit tiddled off with the whole thing. Just a little. Normally I would put myself into a bubble and create my little romantic scenario at home with just me, a drink or too and a special meal home cooked exactly how I like it. This year I have felt very differently, some how dreading the day. I had to pop into Chipping Norton briefly last night and was bombarded by the shop window displays and the anonymous yarn bomber who had done her usual delightful act of covering lamp posts, benches and door handles with crochet bits of loveliness. Normally I stop to admire her work and am truly grateful for the time and effort she puts in - but not last night. I held my head low and walked avoiding making eye contact with anything consider remotely related to love and hearts. I even had to turn over the radio station!
I lay in bed last night thinking how unlucky in love I am then it occurred to me......what a load of trash! Firstly I do believe that the whole Valentine thing is a ploy to encourage commercialism and secondly how can I possibly even begin to think I am unlucky in love??? I was married to the same amazing guy who loved me unconditionally for 19 years. 19 totally amazing years. That is not unlucky at all, that my friends is something that I can smile about and be grateful for. But that is not all, I have three beautiful children and masses of very 'real' friends who wrap me up in love bubbles all the time. I AM NOT UNLUCKY IN LOVE, it's all around me :-)

So no red enveloped cards for me this year (that saves on tree sacrifice and landfill) but a big smile of gratefulness and a heart full of love. Here's a little for you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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5, 6, 7, 8 and 1.........

I was rather excited towards the end of last week as a month or so ago I booked myself on to a course to teach cheer leading - 'Cheer' as I now know it to be referred in the industry.
This new venture was not my idea......no, no..........my children.... (the girls mainly) decided that cheer would be something they would like to try. Now I know I could have done what most sensible, 'normal' parents might do and simply have taken them to the nearest group, but no....my life just doesn't work like that. As I have already unintentionally pointed out, I tend to lean on the side of doing the ridiculous. So here I am (written on Saturday) lying on the bed in my hotel room (of course taking full advantage of my weekend away ;-)) post wonderful shower, having just completed the first day on a two day course on a subject, I honestly (until today) knew absolutely nothing NOTHING AT ALL about.
Now I have to be honest with you, I thought it would be pretty easy this world of Cheer, I mean I've taught gymnastics to a pretty high standard, competed myself and was a fitness instructor and dancer in a previous life.....how hard could this actually be??? That was my thought, until whilst lying in bed on Friday night it suddenly occurred to me that if someone was venturing onto a gym coaching course with NO knowledge or experience, how hard would it be???!!!!

Oh heck! What have I done?

So racking up Saturday morning at the venue, the nerves suddenly started to set in. I could honestly only laugh at myself when it came to the introductory bit of the day when we went round the circle introducing ourselves, all 25+ of us.....I was last and had to follow all those High School cheerleaders and club leaders with 20 odd years experience........'I'm here because my children sent me!!!!!'

Oh crap!!!

Well now what can I say? Well the gym was nice...apart from being ridiculously cold. In that sort of environment I always feel a little bit of inner life within me shouting to get out and tempt me with a few skills....temptation and shame of potential embarrassment, resisted!

I felt like a really dim student having to question the simplest (OK virtually every) matter and the shame of having to stand count and perform jumps to a count were whoop whoop, riiiiigggghhhttt over my head. What could I do but chuckle....IDIOT!!!!

The tumbling section was in the afternoon. Finally an area in which I do have previous experience and suddenly I'm no longer the fool but the 'pro'....Oh yeah!!! Hehe, finish on a high :-)
Well I say that, but we ended day one with a 45 minute written test. How could I have failed to have notice that there was a test?? Hmmmm could be interesting!!

Day one complete, too late to worry about anything now, time to relax in my hotel room. So what does a Wyld Woman do when she has a night off???? ;-) now that would be telling.........

Day two......after a night with very little sleep....(not used to heat at night and stifling stale air)...oh and a slight headache from the bottle of fizz I sampled.....I enthusiastically jaunter down for breakfast.

Course starts with the results of day one test.....'Well I'm please to say that you have all passed, level one'.....I wait anxiously for the instructor to point out that that was in fact accept me...but NO, YES YES YES....me too!!! Woohoo!! (head starts to swell)....

So day two wasn't as bad as day one. Despite the fact that I consumed a little bubbly and read through not a single word of the course book last night, I actually managed to digest quite a bit of the information from the first day and approached the second day more confidently. I'm still awaiting the results of my second 45 minute exam....

What an exciting weekend! Now to decide what I'm actually 'do' with my new skills.......

Be open to opportunities.......

At the beginning of the year, I decided against compiling endless lists of resolutions that were more than certain to be broken; never to be resumed again. Of course, as most of us do, I have things in my life that I would like to change. So I made myself two promises:

Firstly, to be true to myself. To me that means to follow my own dreams, engage in activities, friendships etc that I believe in.

And Secondly, to be open to opportunities (this could be a fun year!!).

I've always been one to make excuses in life in order to make life easier, to take the direct familiar route, rather than the unknown. In doing so I feel that I'm limiting myself and sometimes it's just easier that way. I'm comfortable with the familiar and don't always like to step out of my comfort zone into the unknown.....I'm not alone, I know.
An example of this behaviour and the first challenge to my 'self promise' was an invitation to a 'jolly Sunday knit and natter' with some wonderful friends. Now way back in the days of old when childcare wasn't an issue, I would jump at the opportunity of such an invitation to sit around drinking tea, eating cake (lots of cake) and chit chatting....oooh and knitting of course. Such wonderful and inspiring moments of 'wrap around friendship' that warms the heart and nurtures the soul. How could I miss such an occasion??? Of course I would go.....or would I????
In order for a moment of 'me' time to even be considered I have so consider the logistics of what to do with the children. It is often precisely these factors that prevent me from accepting and embracing every opportunity that comes my way.
You'll be glad to hear that I was true to myself and worked out the rather complicated logistics of childcare and had a jolly good afternoon!

Now this event seemed rather a dilemma back then but was really nothing at all compared to the second opportunity that came my way. Oh no no, the second opportunity was one that I realised straight away was/is totally bonkers, I'm still laughing at myself now a week after the deal has been done. I am completely, totally and utterly out of my comfort zone on this one......
So, what crazy, idiotic, wildly nutty thing have I done now????
Well........I've bought some shoes......children's shoes. Between 700 and 900 pairs to be exact. If I'm being completely honest I have absolutely no idea how many pairs I have purchased but it is no exaggeration to say that they have taken over two rooms in my cosy little cottage!

How many pairs of shoes does a girl need?

At this stage I am feeling rather proud that I have embraced the opportunities that have come my way. This one is by far the most random and was totally unexpected.

I've become an over night 'Del Boy'!

My dearly beloved used to do a bit of buying and selling here and there, but me - haha, I've only dabbled a bit on Ebay, never anything on this scale.
What makes this whole scheme even more ridiculous is that I am really not the kind of girl who's into shoes. My personal collection consists of only about five pairs that accompany me through life's journey. If shoes could talk they'd have some tales to tell!!

So what is my plan of action with my stash? Well, many little thoughts have popped into my head, many sifted through never to be considered again and others left to mull and simmer in the hope that they'll come to fruition in some form or another. Things seem to be happening rather organically really without any real plan. We're only a week into ownership and we're well into making plans for re-establishing 'home space'. There's a long way to go and I have to remind myself that I MUST remain motivated for fear that the shoes will take root in the house like the furniture and almost cease to be noticed if they stick around for too long. That would never do.

The shoes are lovely, gorgeous, utterly scrumptious, in fact top quality European brands.
I have school shoes in all sizes from 25-44 (that's about a 5 child's to a 10 adults) in several different styles and a selection of casual shoes and trainers. Summer shoes, oh boy, loads and loads of those....'Oh me oh my' sooo many pairs of baby and cute little toddler shoes...please if you have little people........ The retail price of these delightful numbers are mostly between £35-£60 and I'm letting them go (really letting them go) at £20 and under a pair, really cheap SERIOUS BARGAINS!!!!
Miss P kindly set up a Face Book page today on which I am going to try and post pictures of ten pairs a day (will have to be well disciplined there too). You can find us here www.facebook.com/smallstepschildrensshoes  please check us out and like the page. And if you like what you see or wish to delve into my stash, please feel free to make contact :-)

Totally bonkers!!!!!

Thank you :-) XXXXXX

What did we do in school today?

We had a bit of a wobble last week (rather, I had a bit of a wobble)! Us home edding folk do that occasionally, most commonly when a child visits and shares their school skills and experience with us. As most of us in the home ed community steer clear of the National Curriculum and instead tend to opt for a more organic style of learning that encompasses all of life's events, it is easy to become jittery when confronted with a child who is meeting set targets within the system.
So last week following one of our little wobbly moments, the Little Lady thought she might like to have a look around the local primary school. It wasn't just the feeling of underachieving that set us on this path of discovery, no, it was in some ways a clash of personalities between myself and the Little Lady whose willingness to cooperate has in recent times been a little hazy.
For a brief moment of time I lost myself in the thought of only having to teach two different aged children who are both quite willing to please Mummy dear and complete the tasks demanded.......it was only a brief moment.......!!!
So a visit to the local school was arranged. From the moment I entered the school yard I was reminded of why I have opted for 'Life without school'. There's always a sudden sense of needing to ensure the children are dressed appropriately, to have brushed their hair, to look and behave correctly.
Momentarily I felt a flutter of anxiety at the prospect that I hadn't achieved such self-set standards on this occasion. One Little Lady had escaped the house wearing a coat that didn't fit with hair that was quite literally thrown into a pile on her head, and the Small Boy had slipped my attention wearing his faithful wellies! It wasn't looking good but I turned my back on anxiety and proceeded just as we were.
The Little Lady looked less than impressed at the Head's speech informing us about the academic standards of the school, I could tell she wasn't really interested in being there at all. It was a welcoming environment and both myself and the Little Lady know many people involved with the school but I have to confess it remains 'not our thing'. So we walked away having reminded ourselves why we aren't part of the school community and continue with what we've been doing for the past seven years. I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness at the way the system works. With so many radical changes in so many areas of life, it is surprising that one of the main services provided by this country still remains so similar to how it was when it was set up over a hundred years ago.

Our lives are so different from those of the average family, many think that by home educating you shut the children away from the world and that they don't have any friends. How sad that would be and how totally wrong that view of what we do is. We have such a fun and varied life and we have soooo many friends (real friends).
Let me share a non typical week with you.....(I say non typical as no two weeks are ever the same!)

Monday - Forest school. A group of us tree hugging, outdoor loving folk, congregate in a beautiful piece of Millennium woodland where we play, do crafts, copice trees, build fires, build shelters, chop wood, get muddy (get very very muddy), get wet, eat burnt food (eat food that isn't burnt)....and much more. We cruise along  just before lunch and fit in just perfectly with whatever is going on. Last week it was catapult making, this week we copiced the hazel trees.
The fire is a major part of Forest school sessions for warming us up, cooking lunch and a good warm brew of course.

Building mud sculptures

Toasting marshmallows

 A fire is like a good friendship, needs starting, building up, a good heart to keep it going and nurturing so that it doesn't die out.


Last week I did have to chuckle at our food situation. We'd taken pre-cooked potatoes wrapped in foil to pop on the fire, half a tin of baked beans to share that tipped out into our bag en route all over our cutlery and plates and a tub of grated cheese. The potatoes burned a little whilst in the fire so we had bean juice covered plates with a light covering of charcoal, muddy hands - oh the joys! Standards are far from those permissible at home but most acceptable for life outdoors.
Then as predictable as the weather is in this country, it rained! So we gathered around the fire, munching our lunch, pretending to be oblivious to the down pour that enveloped us and soaked us :-)


Tuesday- Science. One a fortnight we meet at a friends house with five other families (16 children in total) to do some science activities, play, share lunch and generally put the world to right. We're a lovely bunch of folk with similar ideas on HE, raising our children and life in general, there's never a dull moment but much laughter and mutual support. Of course the teaching side of things can be tailored to meet the wide range of needs of the children within the group. It's lovely to share ideas and learn from and inspire each other. Tuesdays are my days of nurturing and being nurtured :-)

Wednesday - Amazingly, Wednesday was a 'home' day. That was when we did traditional 'book style' work. When you are teaching so few children you can achieve so much so we really only work during the mornings so the afternoons are quite literally 'play' times :-)

Thursday - Once a month about 30 home educating families get together at a group in Woodstock for activities, social time, play and cake!
This particular week we had a visiting 'Mathemagician' to show us some magical ways that maths works. He was a very enthusiastic and inspiring young chap from the University and kept the children enthused for quite some time. Maths really can be fun if taught in the right way!
The younger children made giant marble runs in the car park and then later I ran a patchwork workshop (we're making little quilt samplers), young non-participating children scooted round the room and outside on scooters, skateboards and the like. We're just like one big extended family, it's lovely :-)

Friday - Another day of home-based stuff primarily, the children were feeling particularly industrious today. Miss P made a new bed for the cat as poor kitty vomited on her last one! The Little Lady baked delicious lemon and poppy seed muffins that rose beautifully and tasted devine and Small Boy cooked lunch......

In the afternoons the children go to RAD club in Charlbury, I get an hour and a half of totally uninterrupted 'me' time in a little upstairs room. This particular week I set to work on my writing.....it's going to take a long time to get my story out there!!

So, that's what we did in school last week, it's not surprising that school isn't so appealing! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Four Teas......

                     And now let us welcome the New Year
                     Full of things that have never been.

                                                                                        Rainer Maria Rilke


January, the month of new beginnings and cherished memories, beckons.
Come, let Winter weave her wondrous spell: Cold, crisp, woollen-muffler days, long dark evenings of savoury suppers, lively conversations, or solitary joys. Outside the temperature drops as the snow falls softly. All of nature is at peace. We should be too. Draw hearth side. This is the month to dream, to look forwards to the year ahead and the journey within.

                                                                                         Sarah Ban Breathnach


A warm welcome to the New Year. 365 new days and scope for many fresh and exciting new adventures ;-)

Having plans pencilled into my diary always offers a sense of hope and things to look forwards to.
This year, one of my major aims is to try and remember to acknowledge birthday's on time. Everyone else surrounding my space seems to be very efficient and organised in this area. I do have good intentions but some how such matters always manage to slip my mind or get put off. I am a self confessed 'rubbish friend' being on time with such acknowledgements!

My grandmother's birthday is in February, and although last year I did probably manage to call her on her birthday, however,  it took me until June to actually post her a gift!
I had huge plans to write to my niece and nephews in the US on their birthdays, but after failing on the 5th January with the first child, I'd blown all good intentions from the onset. Perhaps I'm destined to always been the one who remembers such events late??!!

Last July it was my good friend Jen's birthday. As usual I was totally absorbed in the moment and totally forgot until several days later and it took until last Friday for me to actually get around to organising her birthday treat. She was kind to me and actually said it was rather nice to have a treat between birthdays!
So 'treat day with Jen' became the first 'real' entry into my 2014 diary.

With all children paired off with suitable sitters (well apart from one), we tracked off to Stratford Upon Avon for our little outing.
Stratford is only a 45 minute drive from where I live, the children and I love to go there for an afternoon excursion. Much of the town is dedicated to William Shakespeare and as a result of that it attracts an interesting variety of people. The communal ground in the centre, is the place to see entertainers of all kinds  (especially during the Summer months) and the river and canal are home to beautiful narrow boats and host of wildlife.
The wind was blowing a gale on Friday and the copious amounts of rain that have recently fallen, meant that the river banks were under strain with the extra volume of water. On a dry day it's  a pleasure to stop and watch the dozens of geese and swans that gather to relieve visitors of their bread offerings and to stand in awe of the many folk who spend the day busking with their talents. Very few people were standing around Friday. My usual casual meander across the park was a definite determined walk snuggled within my thickest Winter coat.

We were heading to a gem of a place for afternoon tea.

The colour even cheers up the dull text in this blog!!

Winter can be such a dull season with darkened days, bare trees and lack of colour, and on our walk from the car park it was just that. ........that was until we were struck by a rainbow of colours. The local yarn bombers had been out in force and had decorated the biggest and most splendid tree in the park with a colourful blanket of crochet squares. What a delight to see!
On closer inspection, everyone of those delightful colourful creations had been carefully crocheted and stitched together in memory of a loved soul past by. Such beauty stemming from such sadness.

**(Note made to self of wonderful idea for future fund raising activity.....)**

Onwards we go......

Last year a couple of my friends told me about 'The Four Teas' (www.thefourteas.co.uk). It's a little 1940's themed tea room (very up my street). Honestly, I should have been born earlier in time!
I know the war years must have been tough for those who lived through them, but I do find myself rather drawn to the fashion, family life and community values, plus all the hard work that was endured.
We studied the war years as our Home Ed project a few years ago and as a family, spent a week living on War-time rations. (Tim was thrilled of course!!) You can read my blog back in the archive.

 

The Four Teas, was quite obviously dedicated to the post rationing era, judging by the array of sugary treats that we sampled, but we didn't complain.
The spirit of the era was there in her glory with 40's music playing, propaganda posters adorning the walls and the vintage crockery that the tea was served on, not to mention the waiting staff who worn tea dresses with pinny's and house caps!
What a wonderfully justifiable treat -

Belated Happy Birthday friend :-)

 

 

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